It’s been a while since I’ve written a brand new blog post. I felt I had nothing new to say, as I’d previously poured my heart out and shared all the wisdom I could think of to help others who are going through a devastating medical diagnosis, caregiving, preparing for the loss of a loved one, grief, and/or moving forward with life.
And then Thursday, Friday, and Sunday happened.
My new husband and I were in a meeting on Thursday. My late husband Chris and Texas Instruments (his employer for 31 years) were mentioned during the meeting, which made me start thinking of Chris. Then the tobacco industry was mentioned, and resentment hit me like a ton of bricks. If the tobacco industry had not existed, then the media wouldn’t have portrayed that only smokers get lung cancer. Doctors could have diagnosed Chris before he was stage IV if they had realized that people who had never smoked could get lung cancer. Chris could have still been alive!
I haven’t had a wave of grief strike me in a long time since I remarried, but I suddenly had tears running down my face, and I had to excuse myself from the meeting to regain my composure.
Friday morning, I learned that the husband of a friend died. My heart broke for her as I remembered the raw grief I felt when Chris passed away. I found myself sobbing uncontrollably with compassion and grief. It’s been almost 8 years since Chris died and I’m happily remarried, yet I discovered grief could still rear its ugly head unexpectedly.
Sunday, our pastor Chuck Swindoll delivered a message on Genesis 50:14-21. It brought these past few days into focus for me as I remembered words of comfort I received from a friend two days before Chris died.
Ben Kendall, a family friend who had lived with us years earlier while he was in seminary, sent a text to me. With his permission, I’m sharing his words of comfort and wisdom:
“Never forget that God is always with you, and He feels your pain with you. He does not distance Himself, and He embraces you when you are overwhelmed. He satisfies you when you feel empty and hopeless. He can take your anger when you are mad or frustrated. He will be your listener when you just need to spill your emotions out. He will uphold you when you feel like it is going to fall apart. May God pour out the same love, compassion, and mercy that matches and even supersedes the anguish you must be feeling. God has a reason. This has not been in vain. Many people have been encouraged by your faith through the last few years. Many people have been changed for the better. What Satan has meant for evil, God has made good.” - Ben Kendall
Those are such powerful words, please read the above paragraph again.
Satan meant for Chris’ death to harm us. But God’s purpose was for us to help others who are going through what we went through, as we tell them about God’s love and share how they can live eternally with Him. That’s what I plan to continue to do, as I give God the glory for carrying me through the journey—past, present, and future.
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish
what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
- Genesis 50:20 (NIV)
For the whole story of how God’s amazing love carried us through Chris’ cancer journey and beyond, you may order our books on this website.
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Do you know, without a doubt, where you will spend eternity if you were to die today? There’s no sin so big God won’t forgive you. Denying Christ is the only thing that will prevent you from entering the kingdom of heaven. If you’ve never invited Jesus into your life but want to do so, simply pray something like this:
“Dear Lord, I admit I’ve sinned in my life and ask you to forgive me. I believe You’re the Son of God and that You died on the cross to take the punishment for my sin. I believe You were buried and rose again from the grave. Thank You for Your gift of eternal life. I accept that gift and invite you into my life as my personal Savior. I choose to follow You into eternity. It’s in Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”