Prayer

Fast Forward

Well, it’s exactly 6 years after Chris died. As you’ll recall this past January, I wrote a blog titled, “Where Am I Now?” I wrote that I was moving forward with my life and had started dating in 2019, with the goal of finding someone to fall in love with and get married again.

After being in a couple of relationships that didn’t work out. I joined online dating again, praying that God would open the door to the right man and close the door on the men that weren’t right for me. Not only was God closing the door on every man, he was quickly slamming the door shut. Discouraged, thinking God was telling me this wasn’t the right time, I was about ready to call it quits for a while. But first, I got down on my knees and poured my heart out to God, telling Him that I really want to move forward with my life and find a great man to marry.

Then “Mr. Right” messaged me through Match.com.

It Is Well

“Jesus, hurry up. Just take me now!” Chris begged.

By June 23, 2016, Chris was out of breath just standing. He was ready for the end to come. It was agonizing to watch him struggling, but it also made it easier for me to be willing to let him go. It didn’t appear God intended to heal him this time. He couldn’t ride his bike, do photography, eat, sleep, or work. He didn’t even have the stamina to stand up. His food, water, and breathing were restricted. He had absolutely no pleasures or quality of life left.

“I feel like God has abandoned me. Why isn’t He answering?” asked Chris.

It finally dawned on me.

Snakes and Drinking Poison

We attended a local concert in 2014 where Christian artist Carman Licciardello was singing. Diagnosed with cancer in 2013, Carman was told to get his affairs in order and prepare to die. But a year after treatment and disease-free, he was touring again.

After one of his songs, he asked his audience to stand up and join him in singing it again with him. Neither Chris nor I could open our mouths; we were choked up after hearing words we felt were meant for us. Wrapping our arms around each other’s waist, tears streamed down our cheeks as everyone around us sang “Prayer.” The song was about how nothing is impossible for those who faithfully believe. With prayer, the Lord can move a mountain and create miracles over and over again.