Love

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Moving Forward

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You’ve lost someone very special to you. Time has passed, and you want to move forward with your life—but how do you do that?

I was widowed in 2016 at age 56, with a lot of life to live still ahead of me. My life has greatly changed since I began moving forward. Because of my husband’s cancer journey and subsequent death, I am suddenly a published author and am becoming a public speaker*—two things I would never have thought I would be in a million years. Sharing our story and helping others brings me joy.

I’m a little more than five and a half years into my grief, but I am still a work in progress. I’m not always strong and don’t always have it all together.

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His Love Carries Me

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Today would have been our 36th wedding anniversary. I still miss Chris so much. But I have peace because I can see the bigger picture, especially after writing about our journey through cancer.

Although we’ll never know exactly why God allowed Chris to have lung cancer, we were blessed to have experienced such an ordeal together. As trite and inconceivable as that might sound, it’s true. Our love for each other grew stronger. We learned to not take life or each other for granted. Each day became more treasured as God’s hand was revealed, even in difficult moments.

A Small Miracle

When you’re dealing with cancer, things that wouldn’t normally frustrate the average person can be extremely stressful and frustrating for the cancer patient (and the caregiver). Although I had rarely seen Chris cry during the first 26 years of our marriage, after the cancer diagnosis, that changed. He became easily frustrated over things that never bothered him previously. Emotions easily surfaced, as he was having to deal with a life-threatening illness, side effects of treatment, side effects of the cancer itself, changes in work status and routine, changes in physical appearance, financial stress, loss of social activities, loss of physical capabilities, etc. I tried to put myself in his place, which helped me be more compassionate.

My moods reflected his. When he was up, I was up. When he was down, I was down. One particular day,

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The Last Word

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I started cleaning house tonight, getting ready for family to come celebrate an early Christmas. Dusting the nativity scene, I stopped to pause and think about that little baby in the manger and the sole reason He was born. He was born to be the Savior for you and me.

If you’re missing a loved one due to health issues, or you’re about to lose someone, remember that cancer didn’t have the last word—God did. As our friend Tom Wohlgamuth said at the graveside service, “Chris didn’t lose his battle with cancer. Cancer lost its battle with Chris. When the cancer conquered his body, the cancer stopped living. It died. Forever. But Chris lives because Jesus conquered sin and death for us!”

Love Letter

It's  hard to believe that two years ago today the love of my life took his first breath in heaven. In commemoration, I will give you a peek into the love we shared. 

In 2011, less than a year into his battle with stage IV lung cancer, Chris was in the hospital on Valentine’s Day recovering from an almost non-existent immune system from chemo. I had just gotten over a cold but still wore a mask to prevent breathing any germs on him.

I gave him a heart-shaped box of chocolates decorated with the words “Faith, Hope, Love.” Those words described exactly what we had. Here is the letter that I included in my Valentine's Day card to him: